Fat Asses Vs The Pocket Chair

The Pocket Chair is a tiny ass chair that claims to hold up to 250 lbs but the chair is made for little asses in a big world. This chair is the size of a small step stool and a 250 lb ass is not! This chair must be a piece of crap! I would love to see an infomercial with all 250lb people sitting on this chair or this product being integrated into an episode of The Biggest Loser - because they whore out products like nobodies business - with their fat assess testing the product or using it in the gym or something. This will definitely be on the Ahoy list this summer if these start popping up at children's sporting events or on the beach.

Ahoy Season Is Approaching!

Last summer I invented a game while at Disney World noticing all the weirdos that come out in public. The game involves noticing oddities in the human race and pointing them out to gain points. This game continued during the week-long trip providing much entertainment for all the walking and line waiting. The game involved saying the word "Ahoy!" when one of the items on the list was noticed or something marvelous that could make the list was noticed.

Points were given for the following plus more if agreed upon by the group.

1. Little people
2. Mullets
3. Rat tails
4. Black mullet - double points
5. Amputations
6. Morbidly obese to the point they could be on a reality program
7. Person on a scooter clearly only for their weight
8. Thongs at the pool/waterpark
9. Couples made of complete opposites
10. Extremely fantastic weaves
11. Hoop earrings with writing in them / over 3 inches in diameter
12. Eye patches
13. Asian tourist pose (you know the one)
14. Wearing a bathing suit that is the wrong size
15. Wearing a bikini when your bikini time is up
16. Albinos
17. Vitiligo

The game also was morphed to include noticing the good-looking and not so good-looking at the beach.

Any suggestions for more Ahoy categories?