Today I found the love of my life at work and I will call her Big Sexy for HIPPA purposes. She was a voluptuous woman (100 lbs ago) and wore black leather boots. She had a cotton skirt, probably an Old Navy super skirt circa 2005, that was a moss green color and left nothing to the imagination, wink, wink! This skirt was topped off with a tapioca pudding colored tshirt and a black licorice colored vest, so trendy, what a hipster! The icing on the cake - which she probably ate for breakfast - was the leopard print fedora hat that she was wearing. She was also rocking a sexy walker which judging by the hat will be bedazzled or decorated in some fashion shortly, as it should be. Her panting and wheezing with exertion spoke to me in soft seductive voice saying "come to me" and then I realized she was talking to her daughter who was holding her food. She ate about every 2-3 hours as most diets say you should to keep your metabolism going; however, her intermittent snack meals consisted of french fries and sandwich which is only about 1 point on weight watchers right?
My wildest fantasies came true when I had to perform an ekg on Ms. West Philadlephia and the clothing came off. Watching the brassiere loosen I was reminded of the destruction of Hurricane Katrina when the levies broke and water came rushing but this was not water that was crashing and colliding but lady parts. As the mudslide continued I was reminded of the fleetingness and fragility of life and also to wash body crevices to avoid what medical professionals call under-boob funk.
Life is too short to care about trivial things so if you see a leopard print fedora hat and think it looks bad-ass, rock that shit like a champ! Ms. West Philadelphia provided an eye-opening epiphany where I wished my eyes were closed but at the same time revealed to me the meaning of life which is to be happy. Take opportunities to make yourself happy and feel good but in moderation as excess of anything is not good, i.e. the fourth meal.
No comments:
Post a Comment