Your Worst Nightmare

Painful, unsightly,

making you want to cry, hide, and scream,

it creeps up on you in the dark...

IT'S THE MONSTER ZIT!!!!

Whoa there sister.

Chill out!

Yes, it looks terrible and hurts like a mother but never fear!

Claire is here! :D

Most monster zits are cystic pimples, also known as the "under the skin" zit.

You can normally feel the tenderness before the inflammation shows up,

and it appears as a bump without any sort of whitehead.

These are the kinds of zits that scar most easily.

They form WAAAAY down deep within the pore.

The pore itself is clogged up with some hard concentrated oil,

and while you will no doubt try to squeeze, pick, scrape, stab, and otherwise attack it,

that thing is not going to pop.

At least not on the surface.

See the zit is formed sooooo deep within the skin that sometimes if you squeeze it,

you cause it to pop INSIDE YOUR FACE.

Yeah its as terrible as it sounds.

So stop causing yourself unnecessary pain and don't touch it.

1) First, remember that this is a wound,

just like getting stabbed or getting your tooth pulled.

There is no miracle zit cream that will make it heal overnight.

It will take some time to heal.

2) In order to draw the zit to the surface, steam it.

This means putting a wet washcloth in the microwave for 2 minutes.

when its ready, place the cloth gently on your blemish

It will probably hurt a little because its so warm,

but thats the feeling of your pore stretching open so that all that gross infection can come out!

3) Let the zit steam for about 10 minutes,

then gently pull the edges of it out to open up the pore even more.

3) This is the hard part.

DO NOT TRY AND POP IT!

you won't make any headway

and could potential just undo all that work you just put in

4) Dab some zit cream with benzoyl peroxide on it.

5) Repeat two to three times a day until the zit forms a large white head.

Make sure to moisturize as normal. Drying it out will not help.

(think of a scab. it heals faster if you keep it moist right? your zit is the same)

6) While waiting for it to heal:

mix concealer with a little translucent powder so that it is thicker and will have more coverage. dab it on with your middle finger, and seal with more powder.

WASH OFF before you steam.

Before you know it, the inflammation will have gone down,

and you will be glowing again in a few days :D

here is a little list of pleasant things to think about

when you are trying NOT to think about how much you really want to touch your face:

*porcelain colored skin

*unicorns

*opaque black tights

*charm bracelets

*snowpink cheeks

*costume storage spaces-Miles and miles of dresses and thousands of shoes. and WIGS.

*gangster guys who are really good with kids

*japanese boys with gravity defying hair

*shiatsu massage mmmmmmm

*lip piercings

and this picture

LOVE,

Claire